There are events in your life that you will never forget. The memorial put on for Warren Hellman in San Francisco's Emanu-El temple yesterday was like going to heaven with all your friends only everyone except the one we mourned was all very much alive. We stood in long lines -- one for friends and family and the other, just as long, for people who had some connection to Warren through his love of music, the outdoors, sports, education, business, and just people.
Great people are like children. They never grow up. In many ways, Warren refused to grow up, even denying the authority role fatherhood gave him. His eldest daughter Frances related how when she called him from the police station after committing a minor crime, his response was to laugh. We discovered from his sister, Nancy Bechtle, that Warren was a teenage "hoodlum" and arrested several times for crimes such as drag racing. Yet he was responsible to the world around him. One of the speakers said that the city of San Francisco was his family. I think he felt very much part of the family of man.
Who were the people who called themselves friends of Warren? Standing in line, I met a cellist for the SF Symphony whose son was best friends with Warren's grandson. Inside, on my left was an older woman who worked at Point Reyes National Seashore and stopped Warren early one morning because he was trail running in tattered clothes. She thought he was a homeless person, but then discovered who he was and became friends. On my right sat a young woman, African American, who beamed as the speakers told humorous tales about the man we all loved.
"How did you know Warren?" I asked. "I'm a lawyer and represent his firm," she said, still smiling.
Later, at the reception -- into which at least 30 banjo players came a'strumming to honor Warren's love of bluegrass banjo -- I met a one-eyed man who said Warren paid for his medical care through the SF Free Clinic. I talked to Jerry Brown -- our repeat governor -- and reminded him of the interview I did with him the first time he was governor. He acted as if he remembered me. He's a far better actor than his predecessor, for sure.
Senator Dianne Feinstein made an error when commending Warren for his "zest for winning." Instead, she said he had a "zest for women," to which everyone laughed with great relief because we were all on the verge of tears.
I thought he had a zest for women. When I was sharing the house of Green Party State Assemblyperson Audie Bock in Piedmont, I brought her to a talk at which Warren was a speaker and introduced her to him (I met him years ago at some tech event and have since stayed in touch through the Bay Citizen, the digital newspaper he funded).
Audie had just lost her second bid for State Assembly but Warren was intrigued by her and asked her to lunch. I thought he found her attractive (and she was), but she said at lunch, he just pumped her for information about Ralph Nader and the Green Party. He wanted to know everything he didn't know. I only found out yesterday that he was a Republican, although I never equated that party with humanism.
A musician friend -- manager of the Freight and Salvage Coffeehouse in Berkeley -- drove me home in his van, and he complained of the way Emmy Lou Harris was miked at the temple. I don't think Warren would have cared. For him, music was whatever sounds moved you. For him all people -- like all music -- deserved to be listened to and loved.